I put a lot of feeling into this music video.
- Sep 15, 2017
- 5 min read
I love to sing, sign and listen to the music because It makes me happy when I am alone, I didn't care who I needed, I grew up in my small world, my own little room like a doll's room, but empty room with a bed, you know I lived there for 2 years, I didn't need anything, I have no arts, no pictures, and nothing! Only phone, the bed, and just me in my own closet.
I wanted to be alone in this world until I die. I didn't want to live here in this world. Once you were raped at 6 years old, and no body knows because I couldn't speak until I was 10. I
started to opened up when I was a senior in my High School because my deaf culture experience is way to much. They were exactly same like hearing people, but only signing that EVERYBODY CAN SEE!
You know I have eyes, read, and speak that I can translate into English.
You never heard of it before, this is pretty fun to say, play with words, and throwing words together. You know, there is NO spellcheck!!! Ha!
That is when I knew, I have to experience it by myself. I dated one of my ex boy-friends, his name is William Bennett, he is 28 years old when I was 16. Yeah, I was wild as fuck, that is why I didn't say nothing because I know how to keep a secret. I disappear all the time, let people wondering and let people talk shit about my back.
I am deaf and hard of hearing, I am hurt, and you do not know what I've been through. I had enough of bullying, cyberbullying, and stalking. There is no one paying me for that. I am willing to do to be a model because I knew that I do not give a fuck. I've done everything for everybody that I helped, not you. You can hear, you are fine and what the fuck do you need help for? I am too, but it is my choose to help people that needs me more than you do. My son DOES needs me than you because you do not know who's his mom?! What the heck, are you a mom, but you talk shit about other kids. That doesn't make sense.
I used to be a nanny after graduated from High School, It is because I wanted to spend my time when I am still alive.. Able to hear, I chose to turn it off and people still love me when I am deaf. That is because I show them love.
I do not give a fuck, I love who I am, I know what to make decisions, and want to learns everything.
I want to travel, to sing, dance, feel vibration, and give loves to everybody!!! <3
I love kids, I wanted a kid and I did it. I made a mistake with money, but I can make more and I know about businesses. I did my thing before I met my baby's daddy. I figured that he was lazy as fuck. He didn't make much of it, he was complaining and he didn't like who I am.
I didn't see my family often, I lived in different houses, moved to another places and I have no home where I can be comfortable. I moved like a millions time, I don't like to be around people, I am very respectful and I prefer to keep it to myself.
I love to take selfie pics, I mean a lot, I love to draw, I love arts, and they are beautiful. I love how they looks, I love it and I love how they shines!!!
This is beauty, sexy as fuck and I love beauty and breast.
I love how they looks, looks so hot, old fashioned is BOMB as fuck.
I remember when I started it as model when I was 6. I saw lot of mirrors, they are so pretty, and I wanted to stare at it all day. I spent time alone in bathroom, wash hands, and clean my room. I love how they clean, and so white. I lived in a nice clean house, also a studio and 2 stories. I danced in a studio. I love my studio!!
After that, we moved out to the hotel for 2 years in 2 times to move after that. It was hot summer, very hot and I hate how I live. It was hard, being broke and my mom did her best to feed us. She made her desicison for us to stay together. We did stayed together after she picked us from Philippines, she sent us to my real dad in the Philippines and she stayed in cali, we weren't with mom for 2 years until that time she picked us from there.
She took us home, to be with mommy and I know she's the best that she could make my future better. That is why I kept going to learn to speak for my mommy. I was only 10. I came back from Philippines when I was 9 years old. It took me to speak for 1 years. I started to learn again, and I love to type. I had a computer when I was 9, I spent my time in a room with a computer in my big sister's room.
That was FUN, my mom worked in Fry's and she had no babysitter to watch us after school. I had to stay over at Fry's, I played there, and I love video games. I love role playing and dress up games, I love Wi-fi!! I love phones from different kind of companies. It is really cool to learn because I spent my time in Fry's with mommy, she had no choice so she did and she is awesome. I get to play with everything, read books and that's why I love books!! <3 <3
I cross my heart, this is how I feel in my own feeling.
I was sad that I got raped at 6 but I am doing okay! I knew that I am special, my mind is outsmarted me than my own body.
I could type really fast, I could make a meal and I make you happy. I keep my words to you, just you, and you are beautiful. You are sexy as fuck, and I don't believe that you still talk shit.
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